Nobody Told Me It Would Feel Like This

Before my son was born, I read the books. I watched the videos. I asked the questions. I thought I was as prepared as a person could be.

Nobody told me it would feel like this.

And I don't just mean the hard parts — although yes, those too. I mean all of it. The way your heart physically hurts watching them sleep. The way a 6am wake-up call can be the worst and best part of your day at the same time. The way you can be desperate for five minutes alone and then miss them the second you get it.

"Motherhood didn't change who I am. It introduced me to her."

The parts nobody posts about

Here's my honest list, because somebody needs to say it plainly:

• You will cry in the kitchen over something small, and it won't really be about the small thing.
• You will Google things at 3am that you'll laugh about at 3pm.
• You will feel like you're failing on the exact same day someone tells you you're doing amazing.
• You will lose pieces of your old life and grieve them — while genuinely loving your new one. Both are true. Nobody tells you both can be true.

The part that surprised me most

The confidence. Not right away — the beginning is a blur of doubt. But somewhere in the middle of figuring out this tiny human, I started figuring out myself. I got braver. I started building things. This blog, the apps, the shop — all of it came after him, not in spite of him.

He didn't slow my life down. He focused it.

So if you're in the thick of it right now — the beautiful, exhausting, incredible thick of it — I see you. You're not doing it wrong. It just feels like this.

And you're not alone. We're figuring it out together. 💛